She Picked a Bad Week to Quit Sniffing Glue

I'm not a fan of celebrity gossip, but when I was checking out CNN this morning, I just had to read the story of the FBI interview of the runaway bride. It's like a car wreck you can't take your eyes off. Thankfully I've never had a reason to suffer through one of those interviews myself. Judging by the pics it's a harrowing experience.
We've all seen the "before" picture, with those bugged out eyes but not too hard to look at. For some reason I can't get my image host to display it and I don't have time to fuck with it, so you'll have to work from memory.
During:


After:


Yeesh. Either makeup is worth every penny women spend on it, and then some, or she got worked over with rubber hoses.
I read in the article she had little money to run away, since her mother does all her banking. Let me get this straight - She's 32 and her mother does all her banking? I don't know about you, but if I was her fiance the cacophony of alarms going off in my head would be deafening. Something's wrong there. She can't handle money and she's probably going to burn through yours like a dot com, so you'd better have a lot if you marry this one.
While I'm on the subject, look out for women whose fathers call them "princess". 30 years of that and they're convinced they actually are princesses. Marry one of them and you'd better be prepared to kiss a lot of ass for a long, long time.

Drink up men...