Television

You know, it's struck me recently that it isn't worth the (admittedly minimal) effort required to follow a TV series. Every time I get interested in a show to the point that I'll look forward to seeing it next week, it gets canceled. It either gets canceled or goes on some wacky Hollywood hiatus, a la Sopranos.
I'm no entertainment industry bigwig, and know nothing of what goes on behind the curtain, but it seems to me that what this industry would want is a regular viewership. Repeats and cancellations fly in the face of that logic. Some of my favorites that have disappeared:

• Trailer Park Boys This was on BBC America Thursday nights and mysteriously disappeared without explanation. You ever seen this one? It was freaking hilarious. It covered the exploits of two redneck nut cases living in a trailer park in Nova Scotia. Who'd'a thunk it? Rednecks, in a trailer park, in Nova Scotia. I've been to Nova Scotia twice and never saw a trailer park, but apparently they got em there too. Gone, just gone. Very frustrating.


• TV Funhouse This was on Comedy Central and skipped around to different days and times before disappearing altogether. Following it was beginning to require effort, there was no telling when it would be on. This show was about the adventures of a guy and a bunch of animal puppets and it was really off the wall. When I first saw it I couldn't believe it was even on TV. There were these puppets, a dog, turtle and chicken to be exact, in a Tiajuana whorehouse, humping real animals dressed like hookers. I laughed so hard I thought I'd shit myself. But alas, it's gone. I'll have to make do with Masterpiece Theater.


• The Sopranos Not technically gone, more like MIA. One of the best TV shows ever in my opinion, with the exception of the episodes directed by Quentin Tarantino. They got a bit weird. But come on, I have the attention span of a gnat, do they really think I'll give a shit about the show after they've been on vacation for 2 years? WTF is up with that?
• Carnivale I didn't care much for this one at first, but my wife loved it so I was strongly urged to watch, us having only one TV in the house. (Although I did this willingly, I never once gave up possession of the remote, so do not attempt to revoke my man card.) Eventually I got hooked, and right when things come to a head, they cancel it. Jackasses. Between the Sopranos disappearance and the Carnivale cancellation, HBO is quickly becoming an also-ran. And they show the same tired old movies, over and over. But I'm paying for the privilege, so who's the jackass?

If any network or cable execs happen to stumble across this, let me give you a word of advice: Stop sucking. And lighten up on the unfuckingbelievable number of commercials. If you don't I'm liable to do something drastic, like read a book.

Drink up men...